Long after the promise of spring in April, past the joy of lovely May, after the crackling heat of July, August now surges on. The euphoria of having my college daughter home for the summer has dwindled to surveying the landscape of clothes left, discarded shoes, and bits and bobs. I mentally prepared to bid her adieu last week as she packed up her car and returned to the campus heady with the knowledge that a baccalaureate degree will be hers come May 2013.
Mornings now begin without the creaking of the upstairs floor as she rustled around in preparation to start the day. Only the meows and aeiuoosof Coco Chanel and Fellini awaken me these days as they rouse me out of my somnambulist state. I am not fooled: this indoor feline duo wants their Fancy Feast breakfast and large ceramic bowl of fresh water immediately. Theirs is a well-ordered life. Mine, however, seems less so.
The adjustments made to life minus the daily happy turmoil of dynamic family life have lulled into another sort of rhythm – one that moves forward in quieter, subtler ways.
I do not shed the waterfall of tears like I did her first semester of college away from home. Valiantly I attempted to hold myself together until the last kisses and hugs had been given and received. Bravely I smiled and waved as she disappeared down a dorm hallway to a meeting with a throng of other freshman college students. I climbed into my car, pulled out of the parking space, managed to signal a left turn at the first traffic light, and dissolved into a sniveling heap of psychic decay.
Now I take heart in the fact that my child is thriving in college, excelling academically, and reveling in sorority life and friendships. As she dives headlong into life, I am buoyed by the fact that I am blessed by the sheer joy and pleasure of the fruits of motherhood.
Ciao for now.